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5/30/2008 只生一个好?One Child Policy 在去Grove City的路上,地震自然是讨论的话题,而孩子,更是地震中的焦点问题。Hh说,很多人都为地震中丧失生命的孩子,或者丧失父母成为孤儿的孩子扼腕,而她的一个朋友,却认为那些在地震中失去孩子的父母,其悲痛更甚,尤其是那些孩子在上初中或高中的,父母已经很难再有第二个孩子了。 Hh跟我们讲了一个真实的故事,她的一位朋友,多年前到美国留学,生有一个女儿,相当优秀,在普林斯顿大学读书。那位女生从来就瘦瘦小小的,学习特别刻苦,就是胃不怎么好。在她即将毕业,已经找到一份很好的工作的时候,突然医院查出,癌症末期,只有3个月的生命。于是,父母觉得简直天塌了一般。而这个女生却还打电话给公司,说“我现在得了癌症末期,但是我需要钱去看病,所以要继续工作,只是工作时间需要宽松。”公司也竟然答应了。这样,一直到最后身体支撑不去,她被强制在家休养,才停止工作。这个女生的前任男朋友是德国人,据说听到这个消息,在德国请了长假,飞到美国来陪她走过最后一段日子。于是,最后的时间,她的前任德国男友,现任美国男友,全部在她家打地铺。这时候还发生了文化差异,因为女孩的家人最后求助于中药,而她的男友们都不相信没有科学根据的中药,所以她母亲在照顾女儿的同时,还得跟她的男友们进行解释。在支撑了6个月后,女孩还是在花样的年华离去了。此后,女孩的母亲每天都只能靠吃抗抑郁的药过活,父亲也从原来很外向善言的人变得沉默寡言。可能他们会自责,如果在她小时候,不是因为他们读书繁忙而将孩子放在国内,就可能不会因为照顾不周而让孩子身体出现毛病。也可能如果孩子不是学习那么努力,或许能够给她多点营养,胃也不会出现那样的大问题 之类。可是再怎么样自责,也无济于事了。 只有一个孩子,对父母的压力大,给孩子的压力也大,Hh这样说。因为做孩子的不能不考虑父母,而父母很多的时候也把自己的期望全部寄托在孩子身上。而像现在的很多中国小孩,各种培训班,作业,都压满了他们的时间,我想如果那些失去孩子的父母,如果知道孩子只有那么短的时间,或许会愿意让他们多做一些他们自己喜欢的事情吧。这一点倒是很赞同美国的have fun和enjoy your life(享受生活)。我们隔壁家的那个犹太小孩每天就喜欢在后院草地上打滚,翻腾;然后这边的小孩每天下午3点就放学,玩的时间比学的时间远远多得多。父母也更愿意花更多的时间与孩子相处在一起。常常看到公园里父母就陪着孩子荡秋千,或者父亲推着小推车散步,其乐融融。 难以再说什么,只是希望,自己的父母健康快乐。如果以后可以选择,我会想要两个小孩,不需要他们很优秀,但希望他们很健康很快乐。 5/29/2008 每个人都有被纪念的权利In Memory of...五月最后一星期的星期一是美国的Memorial Day(纪念日),这个日子原是始于纪念那些为国捐躯的士兵。出去的路上,我刚好碰到人们为此举行的一个仪式,小区的人自觉的聚在一起,穿着有美国国旗的衣服,或者有着象征性的衣服,甚至连路边经过的遛狗的居民也驻足停留。牧师在插满国旗的树下致辞,人们脱帽缅怀,还有穿着军装的孩子扶着旗子在一旁站立。之后还有政客的发言,借机抨击接下来的大选和美国现在仍驻军伊拉克的事件。最后,仪式在歌声中结束,简短而肃穆。
说到士兵纪念,有意思的是,在去匹大的沿途,有一座无名士兵的雕塑,枪杆笔直,头微垂。士兵雕塑左右两边,各有一棵遮风挡雨的大树,树底下,左右分别有两块小碑,左边写着,献给这些士兵的妻子;右边写着,献给这些士兵的母亲……
更有意思的是,Hh告诉我一个故事,在911之后匹大举行了纪念活动,参加活动的每个人手中都有一个美国的小国旗,当她拿到那旗子的时候,整个人一震,原来每个人手中的旗子,都是不同的当时死难者的简介,她的旗子上写着×××,×岁,在×××工作。
每个人都有被纪念的权利,不管是英雄,还是凡人,且无分国籍。每个英雄,后面更有许许多多普通的人,而这些人,也不应该被遗忘。匹大图书馆的公园里,有一些地砖,上面刻着的普普通通的人的名字。公园里的小花圃里,四季的鲜花正在怒放,人们在长椅上歇息,读书,享受着灿烂的阳光。花圃边上,有一小块碑,上面刻着,×××——一个热爱大自然的人。
纪念日,纪念那些在512地震中失去生命的所有普普通通的人…… 5/19/2008 Donation今天你捐了没After the earthquake, another big issue is donations. Tim Johnson wrote an article Ranking the Quake Donations on May 15, which explained that Xinhua editors "contrasted the modest U.S. gift with the $50 million pledge from Saudi Arabia in a headline displayed on their web page." At the same time, some news in China said that some Chinese people are comparing big companies and film stars regarding their donations. Beyond all doubt, the Chinese government and the Chinese people have done a good job in this earthquake; many events happened which may break one's heart. Most important, in this earthquake, China made a small step to openness. However, as Liu Tianzhao mentioned, one company called the Chinese Red Cross said they wanted to donate 50,000 yuan; but when that company asked whether they can know how this money will be used, they got the answer: "Then you don't need to donate." Some pictures show that some cars full of rescue materials were looted on the road. But none of these "un-harmonious" news is reported in China. Newspaper offices also have the duty to DONATE a certain number of money. Things become very weird here: it seems if you don't donate money, you are not a patriotic Chinese; if you don't move for those things that happened in the disaster area, you are somebody without humanity. Donation is easy to do, but what about those things after the donation? May I have the right to know how the money will be used? Last but not least, can we use more reason and less pathos even when we are against a big disaster? 5/15/2008 Compare the Report about the May 12 EarthquakeI always try to be fair, most of the time, and I admit that some western reports point out some disadvantages about China. But at the same time, I found western reports also intentionally or unintentionally lean to their own values. There are huge misunderstandings between the US & China; however, there are also huge commonalities between these two countries. I hope the media (no matter which country) can help people to understand each other, not create more misunderstandings. Luckily, most of the Americans I know have a compassionate heart.
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Tiny Bodies in a Morgue, and Grief in China------by Jim Yardly, New York Times, May 15, 2008.
"These children symbolized the earthquake’s seemingly indiscriminate cruelty. But the cruelty, in the eyes of their parents, was also man-made."
I think everyone will feel sorry and very sad for those little kids who lost their life in the big earthquake, and the structural safety of the school building is the big problem which government should consider very seriously. It also can be understood that some parents are furious with the officials, but if every parent is allowed to search for their own child, I don't know whether there will be more casualties or not.
Maybe the local government lie about the exact number of dead children, and the local government should learn how to deal with this kind of unexpected disaster, and how to deal with those who suffer great pain from the disaster. But there is not just one school in that area, and we should also understand that the local government should pay attention to several schools, and many other places.
What I can say for my conclusion is that: This report is just a normal report, the reader will move when they read it. I don't mean to imply that this author did something wrong. I just want to point out when a reporter reports one aspect of an event, maybe there should be another reporter to report another aspect of the event, then the truth will be clear to the public. (Now the truth is, chinese media nearly all report those good things, but western media nearly just report those not good aspects.) I am afraid I will guess the chinese government didn't do well in the earthquake and needs more help from the outside world when someone just reads it without a background about china (but possibly I am too skeptical).
In all conscience, for a whole country, I think china's reaction to the earthquake is very quick, and that may be an advantage of an authoritarian regime: the central government can order and use all resourses when a big disaster happens. I read the chinese news, which said that the best 150 sodiers were selected as the first airborne troops to go to disaster area, but because of the terrible weather, they can only choose to bail out against the heavy rain, lightning and thunder (they all know bailouts are very dangerous, but for those who are buried in the ruins, they have no choice.) All those sodiers wrote their testaments before they went there. 5 people died and 10 people lost...I don't think any rescuers from other countries will do the same thing...
Of course, we should understand those parents who just lost their child will criticize the government, but if we give comment to the media, if they just report the bad things (or just the good things), it may have prejudice in it. Why not let the public know more about the event (no matter good or bad)? Then they can judge it by themselves.
Finally, bless all the people who are in danger... 5/13/2008 世界真细小It's a Small World After All 早上起床,房东太太跟我说,中国地震了,在成都,你打电话回家了没?她女儿在北京,打电话来说北京震感强烈,还好一切平安。我说地震?不是吧。先把手机开机,然后趁开机的时间上网一看,纽约时报网站的头条已经是中国地震的消息了,当时显示的数字是5000的死亡人数。 致电家里,老爸没感觉地震,老妈在外旅游,倒是感觉到了,不过大家平安。 想想我自己,二十四年,经历的地震也有好几回了,每次台湾地震,我们那必然就有震感。最初的地震印象是小学,貌似是5.6级,正在上课,觉得桌子都摇晃得不行,后来据说个别学校的学生踩死人了,于是提前放假,走到家,看到老爸蹲在路边,也不知道干嘛,没上楼(那时候我们才住二楼啊……)事后,接受几次“地震的时候你该怎么办”的培训和教育,然后还在二楼的阳台关注了好久水池的鱼,看他们起来冒泡没有,是否预示着余震……那年头的灾情报告,基本靠人口传递,哪有这会那么方便的手机,网络…… 回到今晚,再看纽约时报,已经换了好几个头条,条条关最新的中国地震灾情,还有照片专辑。这个世界,已经是你一个喷嚏,地球另一端就能听到了,何况是中国的一次大地震? 晚上,甚至好朋友的妈妈打电话,还说听说了中国大地震,问我父母没事吧。哎~想起小时候的那首粤语歌“世界真细小”。 不管今年中国发生了再多的事,不管自己究竟不在国内,还是祝福自己的祖国。 Social Security Number 申请社会安全码 据说每个美国人一出生就有个社会安全码,我以为是类似身份证的东西,不管怎么样,没有那东西你是没法工作的。基于此,我俨然觉得这是一个相当重要的东西,至于重要,肯定就是难以申请了,而OIS的文件又要我们出示学院的雇佣信(我上哪找?)为此,别人上酒吧喝啤酒,我因为不常把passport带身上,只能喝红茶……俨然就是活生生的歧视!@_@同时,没有社会安全码,你没法工作,没法考驾照,没法……基于此,我很早就想申请一个,但是基于觉得手续麻烦,就一直拖着懒得去办。 前阵子跟Peter聊天,不知道怎么又聊到这个问题,结果给一刺激,就又想办了。 于是,跑去East Liberty 的社会安全局,不去不知道,一去吓一跳!这不是我之前去我房东太太的教堂经过的么?一灰不溜秋的小楼,插一美国国旗,然后旁边竖一牌写着Social Security. 不仔细看和不查地图还真看不出这里是一政府要地。想想国内那些富丽堂皇的政府大楼,办公大楼,再一看这个,简直就惨不忍睹,比它旁边一小教堂都丑…… 进去里面,一穿着制服的满头银发的老警察问,有枪么?No. 然后他指指手机的标示,让关机。我这就琢磨,有枪的人还用问么?哪个真正带枪的人自动报我带枪啊?至于手机,琢磨半天,关机跟安全有啥联系啊?难道手机能启动炸弹?但是真要带炸弹,背个包进去不更容易?又没有检查包。半天,不得其解。然后取了号,我前面有3个人,1个残疾人(残疾人要的号是特殊的,他们可能有办理的优先权)M324,叫我的号。走前到一个没有玻璃的窗口,递材料。(虽然早上打电话去social security那问了,等了7分钟,咨询了不到1分钟,说是我的材料应该齐全的,但是还是额外准备了一些,怕万一啥问题)结果,出奇顺利,只交了护照和2019表,然后那个gg在电脑前打啊打啊的,交给我一张表,说10天内就把号寄到你的住址……全程不过几分钟…… 唉,早知道那么容易,就应该早点申请了…… 最后,我发现,社会安全码根本不是photo ID,这就意味着,我进酒吧,还是只能喝红茶!!那我申请还有啥意义啊5555555 图片那灰不溜秋的小楼就是外观,只有一层。旁边的小教堂都比它漂亮。 5/11/2008 Little Princess Rachel 小公主瑞秋Rachel has a little puppy called princess Lovely, rachel also a little princess who like to pose, kiss the flower, smile. Rachel usually call me YUN YUN and she is so sweet that I like her very much. Kiss you, little princess Rachel.
5/10/2008 提前祝母亲节快乐!Happy Mother's Day! 俺妈,五十年代末出生,适逢大饥荒时期,从小就要起早贪晚帮忙干活还吃不饱睡不好;七十年代知青,上山下乡面朝黄土背朝天为建设伟大祖国挥洒青春;七十年代末恢复高考,是全县考上师范屈指可数的女生之一;再到投身教育工作几十年,培养了一批祖国未来的花朵和当前的花朵(包括我),也是说不尽道不完的一堆故事。俺妈常常对俺忆苦思甜,并以身作则,是一位从思想到行动都完全为人为社会的合格的共产党员。不仅如此,俺妈从弹琴到歌唱,国画到纸雕,全面发展,无所不通。
在如今的互联网时代,俺妈更是与时俱进,不断学习新的知识,新的理论,从网上阅览新闻,发邮件,收文件再到写博客,无一不尝试。无论是光顾我的博客,掌握我的动态,还是了解我的朋友,打点自己的三分地,都井井有条,游刃有余……
适逢母亲大人周末就要到张家界旅游去,提前祝一路平安,一年一度的母亲节,愿少点为我挂牵,多点享受生活。身体健康,快乐。
附:母亲节的礼物就是纸的玫瑰啦,送不了俺妈本人,就送给俺房东太太吧……
借母亲节,强烈推出俺妈的博客(My Mom's blog) ,欢迎各位光临,走过路过不要错过,就顺便去那留留言,祝贺节日快乐以作为鼓励俺妈上网激情加动力,bow & 撒花……
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